Still Hazy After All These Years: My Nearly Forgotten Account of September 11th As an NYU Student Near Ground Zero

Pictured:  telephone pole shadows that appear in our street on sunny days, much like September 11th was, that never fail to bring to mind the haunting silhouettes of The Twin Towers.

Curious, on a whim inspired by today’s quarter-century passage from the devastating events on and following 9/11/2001, I literally dusted-off my university diaries for the first time in at least a decade, madly scrawled in ALL CAPS just as we students returned to the dorms of the lower Wall Street area of Manhattan after less than two weeks in compensatory accommodations.  To be fair, that for me was still well below the police-enforced quarantine barricades of 14th street, as I was offered an unoccupied spot at the Hayden residence hall on Washington Square West.

Shown here are a few glimpses of those entries, which I have come to regard with the curiosity and morbid fascination so many of us have regarding those eerie days.  In past years I have shared the few photographs I preserved from my experiences but today I have decided to make it a project to transcribe at least some of the accompanying writing, repurposed for my blog, mostly for my own peace of mind.

"There's a certain area at the base of the neck that acts as the ultimate human blindspot. It is the physicalization of indefensiveness. From behind that point, all actions intimidate, all existence is fierce. It was from behind that point for me that a massive stampede came running from the streets. I think I heard some man shout in a sort of exclamatory warning, "IT'S COLLAPSING!" Everyone yelled to RUN, as just one person could prevent a path to safety if in the way." - September 27, 2001 (8:26 pm), NYC

Artist's Statement no. 1

(CUT-PAPER COLLAGES)

 

My collage work draws on elements of surrealism,

bringing together clashing and unexpected imagery

to draw attention to absurd contrasts. I often

combine conventionally attractive or cosmetically

enhanced “sellable” images with messy, visceral

elements such as cascading mountains of food. This

reflects my lifelong experience with an eating

disorder and serves as a commentary on a culture

that places immense value on appearance,

perfection, and gross consumption.

The images I appropriate are often drawn from

sources that present idealized or enhanced versions

of aesthetic beauty. In contrast, I incorporate

ordinary foods —such as deli meats or melted

condiments like cheese or gravy— carefully

arranging them in visually pleasing compositions.

The result is a strange tension between attraction

and discomfort, order and excess, beauty and

absurdity.

These works occupy a dreamlike space where

familiar objects are transformed into something

unexpected. The process itself is meditative and

therapeutic, shaped by my desire to escape

obsessive and compulsive behaviors. Through

repetitive arranging, collecting, and composing, I

create scene-scapes that allow me to explore my

own subconscious through moments of

play and discovery.

Ultimately, I delight in the absurdity of these

juxtapositions. By bringing together unlikely

elements, I invite viewers to question their

assumptions about beauty, value, and the ways we

construct meaning from the everyday.

Artist's Statement no. 2

(ABSTRACT WORKS of

MIXED MATERIALS)

 

My three-dimensional, image-free assemblage

work —affectionately referred to as “trash art”—

is a divergence from the very precise collages I

also create. It allows for freedom of expression in

a messier, more intuitive way. While there is still 

precision and care in how I place materials, I am

interested in elevating the beauty of debris and 

overlooked objects found along roadsides and 

highways, collected along solitary walking routes 

in moments of contemplation much like sea glass 

on a beach at low tide. I am particularly drawn to 

spilled and smashed remnants of car accidents for 

the charged energy I imagine they contain.

By elevating discarded materials, I create beauty

from what is often ignored or dismissed. This

work is a response to ideas I explored in my

college thesis, Art Every Day, as well as the

Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi with its

embrace of impermanence, transience, and

decay. These themes continue to guide my

practice; I aim to pay close attention to man-

made consumer materials typically taken for

granted and thus overlooked, repurposing them.

I began making this work partly due to the habitual 

exercise patterns I follow when my mind is most

distracted,often walking the same roads repeatedly.

Because I often travel with my head lowered, I

have always been attentive to what lies on the

ground beneath my downward gaze. I have especially 

found myself fascinated by broken car headlights and 

other fragments, imagining what they could become 

when thoughtfully arranged.

I have always been a bit of a magpie, and this has

been an empowering and freeing practice —one that 

yields me fulfillment but also, increasingly, some bit

of delight to share.

Americana lunch box fare as silver platter still-life display

Provisionally titled:  “A patient’s muddled perspective of Renfrew shaded by bewilderment, resentment, and the passage of six years” (2010 and more recently revisited)

Shown here is a 10 inch square trompe l'oeil acrylic still life painting by me that I mounted on a black canvas base, created using many thinly applied layers —note the somewhat warty, plastered texture in closer detail.

The central silver tray of sweet American junk food includes PopTarts and various Hostess snacks; more I made the addition of a melted popsicle that only today I readjusted for a better rendition of the thawing spread of frozen juice.  Fittingly, I chose a “lolly” in our nation’s colors, as an ode to the sloppy, reckless handling of our imperfect democracy.

After fiddling with this more than once I am hoping to finally leave this beast alone!  It’s part of my personal collection but I’m inviting anyone to purchase one of my innumerable collages on canvas, as there are many still looking for homes and I accept generally whatever can be spared. 

 

"Americone Heartland"

(An attempt at something topical)

Hand-cut collage art with Mod Podge sealant on 12 inch square mounted canvas with periwinkle blue spray paint and b&w acrylics (for “smoke” overlay), trimmed in tar grey sparkle washi tape

 

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“Drought Conditions At Sundown”

Late-winter hand-cut collage with painted acrylic skyline & Mod Podge on 8 in. x 10 in. mounted canvas + marbled washi tape border as side embellishment, along with fine Sharpie

 

 

(The rather raw black & white nude of me is from a portrait series completed with the late photographer Art Kochs 15-16 years ago on the cold rock faces of a coastal Maine quarry)

"Experiment in Vernal Pastels"

(Mixed-Media Trash Collage For A Delayed Spring)

Includes ripped apart purple cotton socks, broken clear shards of plastic car head/tail lights from area collisions, various plastic bags, assorted sequins, rose gold glitter, silver satin & faded stiff silk ribbon, torn paper, acrylic & spray paint, hot glue, Mod Podge sealant on two conjoined mounted canvas boards measuring 20 x 8 inches with washi tape edging

#trashart #mixedmediacollage #unconventionalmaterials #eastercolors #springpastels #craftingexperiment