Introduction: A Familiar Verse

Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long
Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

From roughly the age of eight, my mantra was to be "smart and thin," and I imagined myself an artist, always, in spirit.  Defining my world in such simple terms, I became preoccupied with rituals that emphasized my fears and desires in patterns of activity.  It became apparent that I was suffering from OCD, as manifested in a strident obsession with exercise and "eating lean."  As a child, teenager, and adult, a paralyzing paranoia has resided in my mind that I will be "overweight like my parents" (and, let's face it, the majority of Americans).  Yet, the world is replete with caustic ironies, and I have had to battle for some time with being dangerously underweight and malnourished.  As Billy Joel once declared, "I don't know why I go to extremes" -- and is not a disorder based on deprivation and strident exercise equal to obesity in its disturbing extravagances? This blog is to chronicle my burgeoning desire to find health by acting as a source of accountability during inevitable struggles and setbacks.  It is also a distraction, a release for my thoughts on popular culture and the arts (with film, television, painting, design, photography, antiques, and vintage clothing all essential concerns).  Here you witness my journey.  I hope not to betray my first and foremost interests, but to grant allowance of a compromise with those initial fixations.  Please do not judge. - L.S.